Skunk Funk

Dear Reader:

I let the dog out.

That was my huge mistake. I came back from a library viewing of Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, and Delilah barked and barked at the door.

“Don’t let her out mom; I saw a fox run down the road,” the Teen said. Did I listen? No. I let the dog out, and off she charged, yapping her snout off. After about ten minutes, I stepped outside to call her in, and it hit me…eau de skunk! Not only that, the dog’s barks sounded muffled. Where was she? Not UNDER the mudroom…

Yup, under the mudroom in a little crawl space. With a skunk. For over an hour.

The stench permeated the mudroom and began seeping into the kitchen. I finally got the dog inside, in the bathtub, and worked in a lather of peroxide, baking soda, and dish soap and then relegated the little stinker to the cellar for the night. Fans, open windows, vinegar in dishes to absorb the odor, Scentsy wax warmers, and incense were my weapons of choice.

The next day, I made a run to the market for Febreeze, commercial room spray, and scented dryer sheets, escalating the war on pee-ew to chemical warfare. Hey, I tried the sustainable/organic remedies first, but desperate times, you know?

If the Teen were homeschooled, I might have been content with those dishes of vinegar placed strategically around the rooms. Absorbing the odor? Masking the odor? Both? It did work quite well, but this was full-on war. If this had simply been a case of dog getting sprayed and running through the house, it would have sufficed, but the mudroom is attached to the house. I have no way of getting under there to wash the skunk oil away. So there it sits, emitting stench like a giant jar of critter potpourri.

I didn’t want the Teen to go to school and be known for the next three years as Skunk Girl. When in dire straits, we resort to all the artillery we can get our hands on, right? And the best weapon was surprising. The bottle of Chanel No. 5 Hubby bought me for Christmas last year.

I spritzed it on before I went to the store, and when I inquired whether he smelled any hint of skunk, the checkout boy looked satisfyingly surprised and said, “Actually, you smell really good.”

Compliment aside, this experience traumatized me. I have some anger-at-skunk issues to work out. Fashion therapy below…

Redneck Advertising Campaign

6 responses to “Skunk Funk

  1. Oh, my deepest sympathies. Ond hot, sultry, August night, when the air was alive and spongy with humidity and the windows were wide open, I too let a dog out into the night and into the embrace of le skunk.
    The oily intensity of that smell…I wish I had a magic wand, no charge.
    See, sometimes our problems pale in comparison.
    The fur jacket…inspired.

  2. I remember those days well when we had animals. We used big bottles of tomato juice, tomato juice, tomato juice! Poor Delilah! She was just trying to protect the place and they look an awful lot like a CAT! Good Luck!

    • Delilah didn’t seem to mind the stench at all…didn’t deter her from being under that mudroom for over an hour. But she wasn’t too happy to spend the night in the cellar. She smells okay, now, just a lingering whiff, but I’m not letting her onto her preferred couch perch just yet…or off her leash. Gotta make sure she can’t get under there again!

  3. Oh, I remember that awful smell! From a distance, not bad…but that is too close! Sounds like you’re dealing with it in the very best ways…good luck!

  4. Think we’ve all been there- our cat came home last year with eau de skunk and spent a couple of nights outside.

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